Staring Out Windows

A kid sits in a desk, leaning the weight of their head on their propped up elbow. She stares out the window at the bright, happy world outside. She sights, turning back to the classroom where she goes on about her day, sitting in a desk.

We all know this picture. We’ve all been this girl in one way or another.

It dawned on me the other day that we spend a lot of our schooling wondering what life without school will be like. We look forward to the days that we’ll have more control, that we will finally not be staring out at what we can’t have, but be tasting it for ourselves.

Why is it that when we are finally out of school, we find ourselves in the exact same situation, staring or longing for a life beyond whatever it is that is right in front of us in the here and now? And how can we re-design our lives so that we don’t do this so often?

I love my job most days. But there are days where I find myself staring out the window toward spring break, where I’m going to do great things of some kind, but most of the time, when I hit this point where I’m imagining those days, I can’t even see them clearly. I’m just tired. Today, I’m staring out windows. Today, I’m just tired.

With a little self care tonight, and time with the best dog and husband in the world, I hope I can rise tomorrow joyfully saying, “Yay! What does the world have in store for me today?”

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